Everyone everywhere has problems. You may know about a lot of your friends’ problems. Many people are happy to share some – or all – of their challenges with anyone trustworthy who cares to listen, as long as they know that person won’t use the information against them.
People are intensely aware of what irks them, but they may not have a clue about how to solve a given problem. They may have attempted to resolve the situation; they may have thought about it a great deal, discussed it with known experts and tried various suggestions – but still have not met with success.
Often, what seems to be the problem is actually not the true source of what is bothering a person. For instance, when a man declares, “My problem is that my wife doesn’t respect me!” his words both reveal and conceal. He states openly that what troubles him is his wife’s lack of consideration, but hidden in his words is a heavy dose of self-vindication – as if he has no responsibility and plays no part in how or why she relates to him in this manner.
If we will speak to his wife, we may get a completely different picture of the situation. We might learn that his wife does indeed respect him but that he doesn’t respect himself! His low self-image easily turns any valuable comment or suggestion his wife may offer into a sign of disrespect. On the other hand, it might be true that his wife really doesn’t think very highly of him, but she will be happy to provide a list of all the things he does that make him lose her respect. In either case, the problem that he perceives is not the real issue.
When we realize that the husband has not grasped the true nature of his predicament, there is a strong temptation to tell him, “See here, you’re missing the boat. Let’s look at everything you do to destroy your own happiness!” This is not the best approach, however, as it could easily forfeit our mutual rapport and destroy his openness and his willingness to listen to useful options he could use to alleviate his frustration. (Of course, the roles could be switched in this example, with the wife complaining and the husband providing the list.)
Four Steps to Offering Peace of Mind
To actually help someone, it is usually necessary to take a step-by-step approach (which need not be very time-consuming):
- First we must recognize how he feels about the problem and validate the feelings he has, and only afterward lead him gently into a new reality, through which he can address those feelings, resolve the difficulties he has with them, and reach a state of readiness to deal with the true issues involved.
- Second, we need to diagnose the real issue or issues, to define the goals he can aim for to create a situation he feels he can live with, and to avoid unnecessary pain or guilt.
- Third, we need to communicate the real problem in an open, understanding way, so that the person experiencing the stress can relate comfortably enough to make the qualitative leap from his current perception of the problem (e.g., his wife) to his actual problematical reality (e.g., his low self-image).
- Fourth, we need a quick, relatively easily way to implement the solution.
The Body Makes Demands on Us
Every person has a unique process of integrating change within himself, both quantitatively and qualitatively. For example, a client who comes to a session to deal with physical pains may feel his pains disappear when he receives treatment. Then, a few days or weeks later, the pains resurface. Did the session help or not?
Quite often it did indeed help, but it became apparent that the individual has other issues, equally troubling, that he has not begun to deal with. Once his body feels the benefit it received from the session, it is not willing to compromise on partial solutions. Because of this, it restores the person’s original symptoms, in order to motivate him to continue to work on himself until all his issues have been resolved.
Thus, the body returns to the same or very similar symptoms because: 1) every body has certain “weak links” – specific areas where stress accumulates, and it is natural for unresolved issues to surface in these weak links (each person has his own weak links, different from those that others may have); 2) the body knows, both intuitively and from experience, what sensations will cause enough stress to motivate the person to continue to explore possible solutions. Since a specific type of pain provided the motivation to get him to address his problems, why replace them?
Yossi’s Aches and Pains
Yossi,* who was to be married soon, came to me hoping to alleviate severe headaches and stomach pains. During the session a strong source of emotional stress was uncovered, the blockage it had caused to his system was removed, and his symptoms disappeared with the treatment – but a week later they were back. He came in for another session, and the pattern repeated itself: another souce of stress – different from the source that had presented itself in the first session – was addressed, and his troubling symptoms receded, but eventually they returned.
Yossi came in for six sessions in all. At each session he brought up a totally different issue that was causing stress, which needed to be dealt with before his upcoming marriage. Finally, once all six of his major issues had been resolved, the pain disappeared and did not return. Yossi went to his chuppah feeling comfortable both physically and emotionally.
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The Healing Pathways system has helped thousands of people to quickly and safely remove emotional and energetic blockages that have been wreaking havoc in their lives. Even young children, who are not able to express themselves in a therapy session, have found complete relief for challenges such as slow development, recurrent earaches, allergies, lack of focus, difficulty in toilet training and many other issues. In many cases these problems have been eliminated in one or two sessions, with some sessions lasting just ten minutes, and never longer than an hour.
Note that when someone has a physical problem, they are advised to consult their doctor first. However, if the problem remains unresolved, it is likely that an energetic imbalance is responsible, and addressing that imbalance may solve the problem permanently.
* Not his real name
