The fifth level of the Healing Pathways model, and the basis of all healing, is alignment. Our world operates on the principle of duality. States of duality, such as life versus death, peace versus war, wisdom versus foolishness, wealth versus poverty, and so on (Sefer Yetzirah Mishnah 2), add both interest and conflict to our existence. Duality exists in the context of process and time: there is a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to harvest… (Koheles 3:2). Moreover, there is relativity within duality: You can have a hard day or an absolutely terrible day, a pretty dress or a gorgeous dress; one can live life intensely or in an easygoing manner.
Parallelism is an outcome of duality, for God created multiple factors that contrast with one another (ibid.): good versus bad, good versus better, bad versus worse. The nature of our world is such that it demands differentiation. Thus, in the course of the creation process, during each of the seven days, completely different aspects of creation were manifest (Bereishis Rabbah 19:4).
In the same vein, the Jewish people originate from three forefathers, each of whom represents a totally distinct dimension of divine service. As the Jewish nation developed, it diversified into twelve distinct tribes, each with a unique nature. Yaakov (Bereishis 49) and Moshe (Devarim 33) blessed each tribe with a blessing tailored specifically to its unique purpose in Creation.
Similarly, but on another level, we are encouraged to perceive the world through thirty-two individual pathways of wisdom (Sefer Yetzirah 1) and to anticipate redemption via fifty different gates of understanding (Pardes Rimonim, Gate 23:11).
Duality allows for diversification – the constant shifting from one state of existence to another. Thus, everything in creation experiences changing states of motion as, for example, energy is transformed into matter and back again. Like a spinning top, the world can create an impression of unrelenting movement in a given direction, yet it can alter its course suddenly and drastically. It continues to spin with kaleidoscopic, topsy-turvy gyrations as if nothing exceptional has occurred. We have all experienced how complex, dynamic and unpredictable life can be!
Within the human consciousness resides a deep longing for a constant, for stability, and for someone or something real to hold onto. We search for an objective truth that will add a measure of constancy to a life that seems totally confusing and defined by relativity. We meet this inner need by connecting with God, our Creator, Who exists both within the world and beyond it (Tikunei Zohar, Patach Eliyahu), Who is absolute Truth and indivisible Oneness (Malachi 3:3), and Who is the only real Base of reality and stability. Since it is the way of the truly good to do good unto others (Reishis Chochmah, Shaar Ha’ahavah ch. 2), God allows us to connect to Him through the world and through Torah. By utilizing both the world and Torah correctly, we unite with the Source of infinite blessing, stability, truth, goodness and oneness. In this way we open the flow of bounty into our lives, bringing us good health, healing and all the blessings we desire.
Duality without God is conflict. Life is a never-ending struggle between spirit and body, between eternity and temporality. When we align duality with God, it brings peace, harmony and well-being, highlighted by the diverse hues of Divine light. A metaphor for this is the sun shining through a stained-glass window: the color reflected on the floor below has no influence on the sunlight itself; the different-colored glass merely modifies our perception of the light. In the same way, God’s love for us can be experienced by caressing a baby, by enjoying a festive meal on Shabbos or by accessing our inner strength in a challenging moment. Every experience derives from the same Source, yet each distinct perception raises the level of cognizance and gratitude we achieve. In one situation we experience God’s might, in another His glory, in yet another His holiness. Whereas none of these “garments” (of might, glory and holiness) are the Essence of God, they all represent God’s active involvement in every aspect of life and the world, providing us with the ability to both relate to (ibid.) and emulate Him. Through our personal relationship with God’s involvement, we accomplish our purpose in creation and achieve a closeness to God for all eternity.
By the same token, every problem, conflict, misunderstanding or difficult moment is a signal from God. He is calling to us, saying, “Here I am; look for Me! If you merit to find Me, then your difficulties will melt away and you will experience all the good that is waiting for you!” (Likutei Moharan I, 6:6). With each child born, with each raise in salary, with each delicious fruit on the Shabbos table, God is saying, “I am here, hidden in this good. Choose to find Me, for then you will experience the entire world as an elevator, enabling you to achieve ever greater and higher levels of positive experience. Please don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the outer courtyard when you can enter the Palace!” (ibid., 33:3).
Our job in this world, guided by our challenges, both pleasant and otherwise, is to connect our relative truth to the absolute Truth of God. When we take the light of absolute truth and draw it into our own lives, we perceive every situation as a manifestation of God’s Truth. Although any given situation is limited and cannot contain more than a minute aspect of God’s infinite Truth, nevertheless, the moment we bind absolute Truth to our relative truth, we align the conflict of duality with the Oneness of God. In this way we bring healing energy to the pain of conflict, thereby opening the pipeline of perfection and bounty.
Let us examine the ongoing duality in our lives, and the means we can use to align that duality with Oneness.
As human beings, we do not operate within a vacuum. Our environment affects us at all times and, concurrently, we impact our environment, influencing other people and situations constantly. Our environment can be divided into two equally important components: the outer world and the inner world.
The outer world consists of the other people in our lives, and of our surrounding environment, including factors such as the weather and the place where we live. Our inner world, on the other hand, consists of all our past experiences and of our memories of reactions to those experiences. If, for instance, a three-year-old child was attacked by a black dog, at that time black dogs were recorded in the child’s subconscious as an experience to be avoided. Any future interaction the child has with black dogs will most likely be affected negatively by his recorded experience.
The outer world is definable, using the ten categories we have discussed earlier in the model, which parallel the ten utterances with which the world was created (Pirkei Avos 5:1). When these categories are understood not merely superficially but with clarity, they serve as a valuable diagnostic tool. They allow us to determine whether a particular problem or challenge is caused by an inability of the person in stress to deal successfully with one or more aspects of his environment.
An equally vital dimension in the human dynamic is revealed when we understand the essence of the human being himself – the inner world. Every person is a multidimensional being with five distinct selves, all uniquely different yet blended together, garbed in a physical body of flesh and blood, as we have discussed earlier in the model. These five selves, reflected in the energetic matrix we call our body, serve as guiding lights of awareness to point out imbalances in our inner world. Through the channel of uncomfortable physical feelings, our body lets us know that there is an issue within us that needs to be confronted and addressed.
A human being’s inner world is a beautiful and intriguing integration of five different paradigms for dealing with life and the outer world. However, these diverse perceptions used by the selves can create conflicts that need to be dealt with. A person could spend his entire life locked in inner conflict as each self asserts itself in turn, but this would not bring contentment. To alleviate this problem, God implanted within man a form of balancing energy, created to help us integrate our five selves together in balance and harmony. This energy enables a person to perceive opposing energies and situations in ways that complement each other, and to utilize those energies in ways that are most beneficial for the highest good of both the individual and his environment.
This balancing energy is manifest on all levels of the inner world simultaneously. Even though it exists as a unified energy, it can be broken down into three independent, uniquely human aptitudes: 1) speech, 2) awareness, and 3) choice. Each of these abilities is deep and far-reaching in its influence. Let us explore these profound concepts and their influence on the human dynamic.
Speech
At the moment of creation, God brought into being a concept known as ex nihilo, or yeish mei’ayin, something from nothing (Tzavaas HaRashash, Hanhagos Yesharos). The tangible world of “somethingness” was created from an intangible energetic state called ayin, or nothingness. Yeish mei’ayin did not occur only once, at the beginning of time; rather, it continues to operate constantly, on an ongoing basis. In our daily morning prayers we praise God as the One Who renews the Creation every day continuously. God must recreate the world moment by moment; if He did not do so, the entire world would return instantaneously to a state of nonexistence.
Man too experiences ongoing re-creation. Within man’s inner world, ayin (i.e., the nothingness from which yeish, that which exists, is created) represents pure, unbounded and unrestricted potential, which is, in fact, our connection to God’s infinite Essence. Ayin exists as both an absolute concept and a relative concept. God’s Providence, which is incomprehensible to any created being (see Yeshayahu 55:8) is pure ayin in its essence.
Moreover, any concept that is not understandable to us right now, even if eventually it will be understood, is also considered ayin (see Likutei Moharan I, 22:10), albeit in relative terms. This dual nature of ayin as both absolute and relative serves as a meeting point between the finite nature of a human being and God’s infinite Essence.
Everything in the lower, physical world, including man, has a root in the upper, spiritual world (see Me’or Einayim, Parashas Ha’azinu). Thus, for example, a moment before it is composed, a new melody exists within the energetic awareness of a songwriter. It is not yet revealed, since prior to its revelation the melody exists within the concept-state of ayin – in a pure, unbounded state. The same is true of a novel interpretation in Torah that flashes through the mind of a Torah scholar, or of a painting about to be formulated in the artist’s mind. Revelation of the creative spirit causes the melody, interpretation or painting to move out of the infinite, unbounded state and to receive a practical cloak of notes, words or colors within a particular configuration.
At the point of revelation, the new concept becomes yeish – something tangible and limited. In the unbounded state of pure potential, the new concept could have been expressed through any of millions of possible variations; it was an energy without form, not limited to any particular dimension. But once the new concept is revealed it becomes limited; once a melody is revealed, any change in the note configuration will perforce be a different melody.
This concept can be understood readily as it is seen in a human embryo, which begins as a single cell and reproduces continuously until it becomes a ball of cells. At this point, each cell within the ball of cells has the potential to become any part of the body. Once the body determines which cells will form the liver, the brain, the lungs, and so on, those cells no longer have the capacity to be any other type of cell within the body. Each one is now limited to being a specific type of cell, as the body has determined.
We can apply this same concept to communication. Man’s essential life force, derived from God, is a living soul (Bereishis 2:7), which our Sages have defined as a speaking soul (ibid., see Targum Onkelos). Communication exists within the state of God’s pure ayin-energy before being bound within letters or words (see Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayeira). The ayin-state of unbounded interactive energy represents communication on the highest level, similar to pure melody before it is cloaked within notes.
The First Level: Speech in Potential
Every year, for Rosh Hashanah, thousands of Breslover chassidim gather together in the city of Uman in the Ukraine to celebrate the new year at the burial site of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. One year I went to Uman for Rosh Hashanah a few weeks early in order to enjoy some quiet time and to center myself before the huge crowds arrived. An acquaintance from Israel had arrived there early as well, and we decided to spend Shabbos together. It turned out to be a truly memorable encounter, and he shared with me some amazing life-experiences.
At a certain point in his life he decided to step away from standard society for a while and go on a search to learn what life was all about. He set off for the desert, and while there he came across a mountain that had on its crest another mountain. He decided to make it a goal to reach the summit of the second mountain. He spent a major part of one day trekking up the first mountain, and by the time he reached the top he felt worn out and exhausted.
Being very determined by nature, his decision had been made; no matter what, he must reach the summit of the second mountain that very day. After resting a bit and having a bite to eat, he resumed his climb, this time toward the peak of the second mountain. The going was slower, due to his physical and emotional exhaustion, but despite the pain and weakness he felt in every cell of his body, he persevered with pure self-discipline. After several hours he finally made it to the summit.
As he sat down to take in the panoramic view, he was overcome by two feelings. First, he felt a sense of awe and inspiration at seeing God’s creation from this great height and vantage point; his second feeling was one of deep satisfaction and pride at his perseverance and accomplishment, so painstakingly achieved despite the tremendous odds and despite the pain he had been experiencing. “If I can do this,” he declared to himself, “I can do anything. I can conquer the world!”
As he contemplated these feelings the sun was beating down on his head, overwhelming him with its tremendous heat. He looked up the sun and was startled as he began to comprehend just how distant the sun was from him, a quantitative and qualitative distance far beyond anything he could ever overcome or achieve, even if he could live a thousand lifetimes. He could scale the tallest mountain, reaching the point of total physical and emotional exhaustion, and still he would not begin to approach the sun. He began to comprehend his own infinite smallness, feeling a humility he had never before experienced.
As he pondered this new realization, exhaustion finally took its toll and he fell asleep lying on his back. A few hours later he awoke suddenly and found himself staring straight up at the heavens. In the total blackness the stars were crystal-clear. The heavens opened up before him, and the contrast of the distance between the closer, bright stars and the more distant, dim stars provided three dimensions to what might appear to be a “flat” sky. He was overcome by the perception of an endless channel that went on seemingly forever. He was terrified and awed, but his overpowering feeling was one of deep humility and negation of self, a feeling that was deeper by far than his earlier realization had been.
For the first time in his life he understood how small and insignificant he was in the face of infinity. Reviewing the events of the previous day, the struggles and the triumph, the feelings of pride and vainglory, and comparing it all to this last revelation, he was filled with disgust at his own ignorance and pettiness. What was his accomplishment in comparison to eternity?
His brief glimpse of infinity became an experience he would remember forever. It was a different person who climbed down those mountains the following morning, someone whose life had gained true perspective. The experience of pure potential brought with it a readiness to channel that potential into meaningful accomplishments, both physical and spiritual. For the rest of his life he would see anything he accomplished as nothing more than a vestment for actualizing his potential.
My friend’s story can be viewed as a parable for understanding pure speech and communication. On the highest level, speech is pure experience, without words, without letters. It is boundless. It is ayin.
In order to be useful in our tangible physical world of accomplishment, speech must be brought down to a limited state, cloaked within letters and words, and given specific meanings. At that point speech exists on the second level – the level of thought. (Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayeira).
The Second Level: Speech in Thought
Uman on Rosh Hashanah is a fascinating place. Jews from all sorts of life-circumstances come to experience a unique spiritual event and to meet others who are quite different from themselves. Jews arriving in Uman often rent apartments from non-Jewish residents of the town and share their quarters with others who arrived on their flight. One year I had the privilege of spending Rosh Hashanah with Avi, a middle-aged baal teshuvah with an interesting background.
Avi was both a great cook and a generous soul – a Jew with a heart of gold. He shared with us, his roommates, not only his culinary abilities but also some of his remarkable life experiences, including the story of how he became religious as a result of a brush with death.
Avi was a truck driver, and one day as he was working under his truck a spring broke suddenly, causing a steel rod to slam into his forehead, knocking him unconscious. He saw himself flying upward to the Heavenly spheres and soon arrived in a large room in which a line of people were waiting to be judged. He noticed that by the side of the big room there was a smaller room in which demons were tending to animals that had died in road accidents. Other demons were busy trying to persuade those waiting for judgment to leave the line. When they came to Avi he refused to follow them, as he felt intuitively that whereas it would have been no problem for him to leave the line, there was no guarantee that he could ever return.
Avi told us that no one actually spoke during this exchange, as all communication took place through a form of mental telepathy, where everyone read the thoughts of others and responded in kind.
When Avi reached the front of the line he found himself standing before a huge figure of a rabbi, sitting in front of a prodigious volume that, apparently, contained Avi’s life story. As the rabbi leafed through the book, he shook his head in a negative motion and then proceeded to ask Avi why he had not been careful about fulfilling the various commandments, such as Shabbos, tefillin, Torah study and so on. Avi responded that he had not known that he was supposed to keep the Torah, but now that he was informed of its importance, he would do so happily.
The Rabbi gave him one final stern glance, muttered that it was not yet his time, and pointed his thumb downward, as if to say: “Return to your body.” The next moment Avi awoke with a searing pain in his forehead. He climbed out from under the truck and drove himself to the hospital. The doctors there treated his wound where the rod had pierced his forehead, and it soon healed.
“Interestingly,” Avi told us, “the moment I came back to this world, my out-of-body experience seemed to be merely a dream, and it soon drifted out of my consciousness.” In a short while Avi’s out-of-body experience dissipated and his commitment to the rabbi did not materialize; he did not start keeping mitzvos, as he attached no significance to his dream.
At the same time, however, Avi’s wife was becoming more interested in Judaism and was beginning to fulfill certain commandments on a regular basis. Avi accompanied his wife to Shabbatons – family weekends organized by outreach organizations, geared to strengthen people’s religious observance.
Approximately a year after his near-death experience Avi was at a Shabbaton and found himself sitting at a table with two rabbis. Avi received the second great shock of his life when one of the rabbis asked him, “Avi, what was it like in Heaven?” The rabbi had definitely sparked some vague memory, but Avi couldn’t place it. The rabbi pressed his advantage. “Avi, don’t you remember your promise to keep kosher, keep Shabbos and don tefillin if they would give you another chance?”
The memory came back with shocking clarity. How could he have forgotten? Avi renewed his commitment on the spot and, together with his wife, became a true Torah Jew. Their daughter later married a Torah scholar, and today they have beautiful religious grandchildren.
Avi’s account of his exchange with the demons illustrates how the second step within speech is communication by thought. Incidentally, this concept explains why it is possible to use the Healing Pathways model while speaking in English, even if the patient understands only Hebrew or some other language, and to get accurate answers through muscle testing. The body understands the pure mind-to-mind communication, even if the conscious mind does not understand the specific language.
In general, though, cloaking communication within thought is useful only if the person is communicating with himself or with highly telepathic individuals. In order to consciously interact with other people – with our outer environment – we need to cloak our communication in words and language (ibid.). Nevertheless, interactive speech is not limited to words alone. How often, for example, do we walk into a store and become intrigued by a particular item that seems to really speak to us! Even inanimate aspects of creation can convey messages (Habakuk 2:11).
The Third Level: Verbal Speech
On a practical level, speech is like Jacob’s ladder: It rests on an earthly base of words and grammar, which are tangible and defined, yet it rises to the heavens of unlimited potential. When we speak we are connecting with our infinite potential every moment. Speech represents the ability to draw from our potential and bring it into this practical world in order to create positive achievements. This power is actualized via our self-talk patterns, in which our inner dialogue can be used to raise ourselves so that we can achieve our full potential, since self-talk serves as a middleman between one’s mind and one’s actions.
King David taught (Tehillim 33:6), “With the words of God the Heavens were made.” The realization that our speech, cloaked in words, is also a manifestation of God’s will, can give us the power to create new heavens and worlds (Likutei Moharan I, 47). Heaven represents our potential – new possibilities that were not contemplated previously, whereas the world represents accomplishment and our current level of awareness. Through positive, goal-oriented communication we open ourselves to new possibilities and reach beyond our limitations to higher levels of awareness. Every word we speak originates directly from God, spiraling down through all the spiritual universes until it manifests as a spoken word, with the power to create worlds (Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayeira).
The Inner Dialogue
Our inner self-talk patterns connect closely to our inner readiness to take responsibility for our thoughts, perceptions and actions; this is a state of awareness known as ownership. Someone who lacks a sense of ownership finds it hard to take responsibility for himself and his feelings. When he hears negative words or encounters difficult life-situations, he may react with anger, depression or apathy. He allows other people and external situations to govern his feelings and reactions, as opposed to taking charge himself and guiding them along pathways conducive to peace of mind and success.
These harmful reactions are caused by negative self-talk cycles, in which the person starts out with an invalidating belief about himself, such as, “I can never learn to cook.” As a result of his pessimistic belief, even when he tries to overcome his problem he sabotages himself and inevitably fails. He goes into the kitchen to broil a steak, but then the phone rings and he is distracted. Lo and behold, the steak is burned to a crisp and is totally inedible. He then jumps on himself and, with the most accusing tone he can muster in his mind, shouts at himself: “Aha! I knew it. I can never learn to cook!” He uses his latest failure to strengthen his negative belief about himself. If someone offers him another chance to try to cook a steak he will refuse; he has already decided that, for him, cooking steak is a lost cause.
In a small town in Israel a few years ago, the cat population had exploded and reached unmanageable numbers. The cats were everywhere and were tremendously brazen. On several occasions they jumped through open windows and ran off with the Shabbos chicken left to cool on the kitchen table. If the family tried to shoo them out, the cats would snarl viciously and bare their claws, scaring the children.
This situation may seem rather extreme, but in fact it is a fair description of the inner world of the many people who lack a sense of ownership. It is as if the windows and doorways of their inner life are always wide open, and any stray cat – any negative, destructive energy – can enter at will and wreak havoc.
A genuine sense of ownership allows a person to examine the circumstances God sends his way and to determine what messages to learn from them. This person can create optimistic mental dialogues, which foster feelings of adequacy and inner strength, even in situations that invite criticism. In this proactive state he absorbs constructive feedback and uses it for self-improvement, while discarding negative emotional states.
Positive inner-communication energy builds ownership, with all its benefits. Instead of refusing to try again, our hapless chef can take the opportunity to join a skilled cook in the kitchen. If he approaches the challenge with a positive attitude he will soon learn everything he needs to know in order to broil the perfect steak, and much more besides.
The power of self-talk patterns relates directly to the concept of process. If a person accustoms himself to thinking positively in every situation, then the obstacles that stand between him and his goals diminish considerably. When faced with a challenge he immediately tells himself, “I can do this!” or, “This is no problem!” As a result, he promptly goes into creative problem-solving mode, and a solution is soon found. The obstacles are swiftly overcome, and he continues his progress toward his goal.
Unfortunately, the opposite is true for a person who is constantly or frequently stuck in negative thought patterns. It takes him longer to get motivated enough to start achieving his goal, since he keeps telling himself that he’s not going to succeed. When eventually he does begin, his enthusiasm lasts only until he confronts the first major impediment. Immediately he enters a defeatist mind-set in which he tells himself, “I know this isn’t going to work!” or, “Why does this always happen to me?” or other similar self-sabotaging thought patterns. This prevents him from shifting into problem-solving mode, since he needs to spend time and energy overcoming his innate negativity, and so he hampers his process of reaching his goal.
Aside from the psychological aspect, words contain tremendous spiritual creative force (Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayigash). Rebbe Nachman revealed the Heavenly reaction that occurs (Sifsei Sarfei Kodesh [Breslov], Vol II, #32] when someone asks a friend how he is, and the friend responds with full sincerity, “Thank God, very well, thank you!” This response is examined in Heaven, and if it is found that the individual is actually facing some difficult circumstances, the Heavenly reaction to his response is “This you call good? We will show you what good really is!” Immediately, it is decreed that his fortune will improve. And if, God forbid, the person responds negatively, complaining, “Thing are just terrible!” the opposite response occurs in Heaven: “This you call terrible? We will show you what terrible really looks like!”
This may seem harsh, since the person is simply responding honestly in light of his own experience. However, King David has taught (Tehillim 4:2) that even in the most difficult of times God will always leave a person certain areas of life in which things are going well, which can provide him with a sense of hope for better times and the ability to count his blessings (Likutei Moharan I, 195). Heaven’s question to the person is, “We agree that you have both good and bad in your life, but why focus on the negative when you can stay focused on the positive? We are happy to match your positive perspective toward Heaven with a corresponding positive perspective toward you. But if you feel you need to focus on what is bad and disregard the good that is right in front of you, then obviously you enjoy bad more than you enjoy good. In that case, we will give you more of what you enjoy!”
The following exercise is invaluable for those who tend toward negative thinking. In five minutes a day for one month, this exercise can help overcome the self-defeating habit of negative thinking and allow the actualization of positive thinking, opening up new energetic pathways to success and prosperity.
For this exercise it is useful to understand some basic concepts in brain function. Picture an imaginary line running up the side of your head, right through your ear. This line is known as the VAL – the vertical auricular line (see picture at right).
The portion of the brain in front of the VAL is considered the forebrain. The portion of the brain in back of the VAL is considered the backbrain.
The forebrain deals with creative, nonemotional, present-time thinking. The backbrain deals with visual input and insight. For the purpose of this exercise, sit comfortably in your favorite chair, place one hand (it does not matter which one) gently on your forehead in order to activate your forebrain thinking mode. Place your other hand gently on the back of your head, opposite the first hand but slightly lower. This activates the positive visual perception thinking mode. Think about a negative situation you encountered in recent days that caused you a great deal of stress. Using a scale of one to ten – one representing the least stress possible and ten representing the most stress possible – rate the level of stress you felt about the situation, based on how you feel and remember it now.
The Video Screen Diffusion (Adapted from the technique by Connie Andreas, from her book “Heart of the Mind”)
1) Imagine yourself sitting in front of a computer monitor, ready to watch a video. The video recorder contains a black-and-white movie of the negative experience you have chosen. Allow yourself to breathe calmly and easily. While keeping your hands on your forebrain and backbrain, imagine yourself starting the video and viewing the entire scenario from beginning to end. Visualize your internal reactions to the situation and what you were thinking as you were going through it. As soon as you finish, take a deep breath. (If you are not visual, imagine yourself listening to a recording, and hear yourself going through the situation.) Take a few moments to consider how you felt about the situation as you watched the “video.” Is it less stressful now than when it occurred originally? Rate your level of stress once more, based on how you feel now.
2) Repeat the visualization, with one change: Previously, the video was in black and white. This time, as you watch the exact same scenario, watch it in full-spectrum color. Take as much time as you need to imagine yourself viewing the entire scenario from beginning to end. Note your internal reactions and the thoughts you were thinking when it was happening. As soon as you finish, take a deep breath. Once more, take a few moments to evaluate your feelings. Are they less stressful now than when you watched the black-and-white video? Once more, rate them one a scale of one to ten, based on how you feel now. Do you find that your stress level is going down?
3) Imagine yourself opening the back of the video recorder and removing the film that holds the video you watched. Take a scissors and cut it the film into little pieces, and put all the pieces into a bowl. Now take your hand and swish all the pieces around so they become one big mishmash.
Now take out the pieces and glue them back together, without any connection to their original positions. This may mean that the nose of a person in the video will be coming out of his ear, or hanging from the ceiling, or stuck to a glass…. Finish gluing the video together and place it back in the video recorder. While holding your forebrain and backbrain, imagine yourself starting the video and viewing the entire scenario from beginning to end. Of course, now the movie has no meaning whatsoever, since you’ve turned it into a mess of shapes and forms, but don’t let that stop you; just watch it anyway.
When you finish, take a few moments to evaluate your feelings. Are you feeling less stressed now than when you watched the color video? Rate your feelings on a scale of one to ten, based on how you feel now. Do you find that your stress level is going down? Is it possible that there is no stress whatsoever at this point?
4) Now destroy the video film completely. You can blow it up, or send it up to the sun, or grind it up and throw the dust into the sea where it will be completely consumed by white sharks. The main thing is that there should be no trace of the video left in the world.
5) In this final step, imagine yourself returning to the identical scenario, but with one major difference: This time, see the situation turn out exactly as you would like it to turn out. You will remain totally in control of your reactions and determine how you wish to relate to every aspect of the situation, and to all the people involved, in a way most appropriate for you to stay completely in balance and stress-free. Imagine telling yourself positive words of encouragement, words geared to help you stay calm and in control of yourself and the situation. Take as much time as you need, and make sure to breathe easily and calmly the whole time.
When you finish, take a deep breath. Rate your stress level in the scenario once more. Has it gone down substantially? Are you feeling totally positive? This change is due to your proactive choice to picture yourself in control, and to your speaking words to yourself that are geared to build you up rather than to tear you down. This exercise works wonders in defusing anger, fears or depression. Doing the exercise three times a day for one month can make a major change in your perception and in your life.
The power of positive inner dialogue and positive communication with our family, friends and colleagues is extremely deep. Any thought that crosses our mind, any word we say is rooted in the highest realms of our being and our potential (Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayigash). The manifestation of the thought or word is merely the revelation of the communication-energy in its root above. A word or thought is like a long rope connected to a Holy Source above, which gives it life. Every aspect of creation was brought into being through the Hebrew letters that describe its essence (Pri Ha’aretz, Parashas Vayigash). When we communicate with positive words and positive self-talk, we link ourselves to our spiritual roots above, drawing down positive energy to make the essential life-changes we need in this world.
When I say the Hebrew word yad, meaning hand, I may be referring to my own hand, but at the same time that word is directly connected to the Heavenly power known as The Hand of God. Similarly, when I call my friend Reuvein by his name, I connect immediately to his spiritual essence and origin (Likutim Yekarim # 272). Every individual has infinite positive potential, and everyone’s mission and potential are alluded to in his name (Likutim Yekarim # 272). As a person grows and develops, he causes his name to expand in order to encompass his new levels of achievement and his newfound abilities to achieve more than he could have achieved previously (Arvei Nachal, Parashas Pinchas). Through positive thinking we spur our own spiritual and physical growth and satisfaction. Every time we study Torah, pray to God or perform a kindly act, we take a step forward toward spiritual perfection by connecting to our spiritual root above. At the same time, we expand the spiritual power of our name.
We declare daily in our morning prayers that God plants righteousness. When we give tzedakah to a person in need, God takes this act of kindness and plants it in Paradise (Sefer Chassidim). There the kindness takes root and grows into a fruit tree. After a while that tree produces delicious fruits, and since no one is picking them, the fruits fall down into the soil of Paradise. As time goes by, new trees grow from the fallen fruits. When a person completes his life on Earth and goes to Paradise, he finds a huge orchard there. All those fragrant, delicious fruit trees are for his benefit and enjoyment, and all of them grew from one original act of charity.
This can be understood on a practical level: If you meet a poor person who is ready to collapse from hunger, your first thought may be, “Poor guy! I must help him!” You reach into your pocket and find a dollar, which you hand to him. The man runs over to the store, buys some food and eats it, thus saving his life. From the food you gave him he continues to live, and as a result of your kindness Heaven is aroused to follow suit and give him additional sustenance (Shabbos 151b). Afterward, the poor man’s fortune changes and he prospers. Later, he marries and has children, who grow up to be Torah scholars who teach Torah. They are responsible for many Jews returning to God and earning Paradise. Who receives merit for all the countless thousands of mitzvos done by the poor person’s children and the people they brought close to a religious lifestyle? You! Yes, you! Your one act of charity (which you have long since forgotten) is waiting patiently for you in Paradise. Every time another Torah class is taught, every time another individual returns to the fold – a new tree grows in your orchard.
Have you ever spoken to someone you haven’t seen in years and he told you, “You know, I’ve never told you this, but something you told me ten years ago changed my whole life, gave me new hope and made me a new person!” You never gave a thought to the benefits your words might have produced. Meanwhile, Upstairs, those trees keep multiplying, and within you, your name expands and generates more and more spiritual accomplishment. But how did the original mitzvah originate? It was through the inspirational self-talk that you used to generate your positive actions!
Now that we realize the vast importance of our inner dialogue, let us examine how it is manifest via our second unique human aptitude, the concept of awareness.
Awareness
Our lives are built on a multitude of experiences, many of which seem conflicting and contradictory (Koheles 3). The average person experiences opposing emotions regularly: joy versus sadness; serenity versus anger; hostility versus enthusiasm. We can experience highly spiritual moments followed immediately by tantalizing physical moments. Somewhere within us there must be an ability to reconcile the duality of our existence, to connect and integrate these polarized states. That ability is known as awareness.
When two or more opposing experiences clash with one another, the energy that results may be experienced as pain. Someone who is highly motivated to travel and at the last moment is forced by circumstances to change his plans can be left with a certain degree of stress or pain in direct proportion to how much he was looking forward to his trip. The greater the desire, the more pain one will feel when the desire is blocked. Someone who is arguing with people who refuse to validate his viewpoint can experience pain from the conflict, reflecting an energetic blockage or an obstacle between himself and the other individuals.
But that same conflict can also produce an opposite reaction. Rather than choosing to perceive the negativity, which results in pain and inner conflict, one can choose to channel the energy of the situation toward positive motivation to resolve the conflict and to explore new options for dealing with the situation. The man who launched Macy’s department store went bankrupt five times before he opened Macy’s, which became a multimillion-dollar business. After the home of a California woman completely destroyed in a major earthquake, a local newspaper reporter asked her what she would do. Her immediate response was, “What do you mean, what will I do? Obviously, I’ll start over!”
This positive attitude and belief in oneself in the face of adversity is not necessarily innate. One can train oneself to react this way. The Hebrew word for obstacle is mo-nei-ah, while the word for a motor or engine, which moves a vehicle, is ma-no-ah. These two words have the same root but opposite meanings. Since the linguistic root of a word describes its essence, these words teach us that the identical energy can either impede or inspire progress. The Hebrew word for obstacles is me-nee-os, and the word for sweetness is ne-ee-mus. Again, the same letters hint at the same energy, though the words are spelled or experienced differently. Within every conflict is blocked energy that seeks release. Experiencing a block provides the motivation to find the solution.
A state of constant conflict is an opportunity to taste the satisfaction and sense of personal growth that results from the ongoing process of resolving issues. To quote a well-known successful salesman, “The basis of successful selling is the knowledge that every successful sale or acquisition of a new customer follows the identical pattern: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, YES!” The successful salesman perceives each no as one step closer to the “yes” waiting at the end of all the “nos.” Each negative response represents a milestone he has succeeded in passing, indicating the imminent approach of his hard-earned yes!
Awareness is the capacity to take the energy of a conflict, integrate it positively and use it to create balance and harmony. Awareness includes the ability to distinguish between different sides of an issue, for if there is no awareness, there is no distinction (Yerushalmi Berachos 39b).
Awareness allows us to utilize our creativity. The world contains twenty-eight energetic states (Koheles 3:7). These states represent conflicting challenges, but by using our inner awareness to activate our inner creativity, we can allow ourselves the flexibility to sense new options and opportunities and to use each of these states in its proper time and place to achieve inner harmony and to actualize our positive life-goals.
Within each person resides an inner awareness of who he really is – his intrinsic essential self – and what he actually represents. An individual can make a statement of who he is through external means, such as by the clothes he wears or by his choice of friends. Yet it is common to find conflicts in which these external statements do not reflect the person’s true actions or inner core. When this happens, these conflicts portray an inner state of denial. The person knows that his actions are not aligned with the way he perceives himself, yet he denies what he knows to be true.
Denial can create energetic cycles in which the identical challenges resurface repeatedly, with each challenge appearing in a slightly different form. Each successive experience becomes more dramatic than the previous one, finally forcing the person to confront his issue. For example, a person may find it difficult to relate positively to his boss. Every day he comes home all fired up and full of criticism of his boss. His negative relationship with his boss eventually causes him to lose his job. He looks around until he finds new work, but within a few months he finds himself in an even more intense conflict with his new employer. Though anyone may experience certain negative situations in the course of his life, if the same scenario keeps repeating itself, then one is being shown a red light – a warning signal: “Look inside; you yourself might be the source of the problem!”
A person cannot perceive his own faults (Nega’im 2:5). There is a well-known psychological principle we call projection, in which a person projects his problematic traits onto other people in his life. If a person perceives himself as basically perfect, he will have great difficulty seeing the truth about himself. Instead, he develops an outlook that anyone who is better than he is a fanatic, and anyone who is less perfect is unworthy (Harav Avigdor Miller).
God, Who has mercy on His creations (Tehillim 145:9), wants every individual to reach the perfection he was sent down to this world to achieve. A person is shown his own faults, reflected in his spouse, his children, his friends, his boss, his colleagues, or even in someone passing by on the street. When he sees this other individual doing something that upsets him, he has the opportunity to realize that it is not the other person who annoys him; rather, it is his personal identification with the negative energy he experiences in that person. He can use this opportunity to reconnect with his inner knowledge of who he really is and what he really wants. When he experiences his negative reaction to another person’s actions, his facade is stripped away and he is in a position to see what needs correcting. He can then make a positive decision to deal with it.
This principle is poignantly illustrated by a story about the Malbim, the famous nineteenth-century rabbi, and a member of his community who was a nonbeliever. The nonbeliever was offended by the Malbim’s religious fervor. In order to insult him the man sent him a picture of a pig. When he received the picture, the Malbim sent back a portrait of himself, with the note: “In response to your kindness in sending me a picture of yourself, I am sending you a picture of myself.”
The Malbim’s pointed remark was not intended merely to insult the congregant but to give him a vital message. The great rabbi understood that his antagonist was so upset with him not because of anything the Malbim had done; rather it was due to the man’s own lack of consistency. He was torn by the internal conflict between the way he portrayed himself to the world (i.e., as a righteous person) and his actual mind-set (which was anti-Torah). In Torah literature the pig symbolizes this very conflict (Bereishis 26:34; see Rashi), so the man was, on a subconscious level, projecting his own hypocrisy onto the Malbim. The Malbim, whose great insight penetrated this self-deception, sent him a response designed to get him thinking!
The deep need to recognize our inner state of denial and to overcome it, in order to bring about positive beneficial change, brings us to the third essential element of bringing about change, the third uniquely human aptitude: the power of choice.
Choice
Freedom of choice is a wondrous phenomenon, and humans are the only beings in creation that can truly experience it. Angels lack the ability to choose, because of their tremendous closeness to God (Likutei Moharan I, 21:4). Their enormously clear recognition of God’s existence does not allow them to go against His will, just as a normal person would not willingly place his finger in fire. Animals, on the other hand, lack the ability to choose, since they operate totally on instinct. Only man, with his multidimensional nature, has the ability to choose.
What exactly is the definition of freedom of choice? To answer this, let us visit the inner sanctuary of the Baal Shem Tov as he receives a visit from his beloved student, the Maggid of Mezeritch, together with a young orphan whom the Maggid is raising. The boy is extremely talented and is also quite independent; eventually he will grow up to be the great tzaddik Rav Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk.
The Baal Shem Tov tells the young boy a story in the presence of the Maggid and Rav Yaakov Yosef of Polonye, which both the rabbis and the boy understand to be the story of the boy’s life. At one point in his later years, after Rav Menachem Mendel moved to Israel, he became seriously ill, and his chassidim feared the worst. Their Rebbe reassured them: “Don’t worry, there’s more to my story!” He recovered and lived in good health for several years after that, for Rav Menachem Mendel’s destiny had already been planned to the last detail from his childhood.
Even though we have not had the good fortune to hear the story of our lives from the Baal Shem Tov, everything in our lives too is predestined (Likutim Yekarim #283). Yet, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov states, whatever a Jew does involves free choice (Likutei Moharan II, 54). How can these two ideas be reconciled?
The answer is found in the well-known saying of our Sages: Everything is decided in Heaven, except for how much fear of God a person will have (Berachos 33b). Our freedom of choice is therefore quite limited, yet it is infinite in scope. The essence of freedom of choice is our ability to choose to perceive every situation in a spiritual perspective and connect it to God, in every detail of our lives.
A number of years ago I experienced a situation that taught me this lesson. I was living in the Israeli city of Immanuel at the time, and I was waiting for the last bus home from Jerusalem, which was scheduled to leave at 9:30 p.m. The bus was not coming, and I had nowhere to spend the night in Jerusalem. I was tired of waiting, and I began to feel upset. At 10:05 an angry thought went through my mind: “I can’t take this!” At first this thought surprised me, but as I began to think about it, I realized that it was simply ludicrous. I began to chuckle. “What do you mean, you can’t take it?” I asked to myself. “Do you have a choice?” This realization calmed me down, and a few minutes later the bus arrived.
In that situation, my choice of options did not include whether or not the bus would come, since that was not in my hands. Had the bus never arrived, there was a good chance that I could have found an empty bench in some vacant study hall to rest my weary bones. My real choice was how I would choose to perceive my situation. I could choose to bring God into the situation and view the bus’s delay as a positive learning experience to teach me faith, trust, patience and adaptability. By utilizing the power of faith manifest within my soul, I could interpret this situation as the will of God, thereby maintaining my positive frame of mind while at the same time elevating the situation to its spiritual root (Likutim Yekarim #83).
On the other hand, I could have gotten stuck in negative thoughts: “Oh, wow, another late bus. Why does this always happen to me?” But then I would have completely missed the point of the experience. Instead of finding God, I would have chosen a mental state known as avoidance, in which a void of distance is created between the individual and the reality that nothing happens by chance and that no life-experience is devoid of God. Avoidance is an attempt to evade one’s responsibilities relative to oneself, to one’s predestined mission in this world, and to one’s ability to elevate that situation, or any other situation God chooses to send, to its spiritual source. Avoidance demonstrates a lack of gratitude to God for providing us with relatively pain-free opportunities to achieve eternal reward (Ramchal, Sefer Kinas Hashem Tzevakos, klal 2:2). By utilizing the uniquely human concept of freedom of choice, we can choose to see Divine providence in all aspects of life and to grow spiritually from every challenge.
As we have mentioned, the source of life’s conflicts is duality, whereas healing comes about by aligning the conflict of duality with God’s Oneness. In order for the alignment process to flow harmoniously, God created duality in all things, even within the balancing energies of speech, awareness and choice.
Speech works on two levels: tone and words. Quite often, how a message is expressed is more important than the actual words used. If someone screams furiously, “I’m not angry!” most people would interpret his facial expression and tone as rage, regardless of his words. Awareness consists of a combination of our higher-level awareness, which we use to connect and integrate our spiritual self with God, and a lower-level awareness, used to integrate our physical, emotional and mental states with our life-experiences. Choice consists of the decision-making process on a lower level, and, on a higher level, the capacity to perceive Divine will and providence in every situation.
The alignment process includes three factors: perception, direction and integration. Perception parallels the concept of speech, since through positive self-talk patterns we perceive ourselves and the world in a way that aligns us with our higher self. Through positive perception of ourselves and others, we can easily connect with our higher level-potential and use that potential to achieve our positive inner goals and to actualize ourselves in the best way possible.
Awareness parallels direction, for the six directions – east, west, north, south, up and down – aside from their physical aspect, encompass lofty spiritual and energetic concepts (Degel Machaneh Efraim, derush leShabbos Shuvah]. Awareness fosters our ability to create positive inner direction that can guide us along the pathways of our lives, and to enjoy the process at the same time.
Choice parallels integration. Once we achieve positive perception, we can balance and harmonize the various diverse aspects and challenges of life. We can implement the beneficial choices necessary to integrate the shifts within environmental stimuli with the ongoing changes in life, in order to strive toward perfection. We can unshackle ourselves of nonproductive cycles of denial, avoidance and lack of ownership, and develop inner harmony and balance.
This concludes our discussion of alignment and how it relates to our unique human abilities to communicate with positive choice and awareness. The next level of the Healing Pathways model is the concept of the Healing Circuit.
